"Listen to the mustn'ts child, listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me....Anything can happen child. Anything can be." Shel Silverstein
"She believed she could, so she did." R.S. Grey

“What if I Fall? Oh, but my darling what if you fly?” Erin Hanson

Sunday, February 23, 2014

I'm still not sure...

DONE with my ER rotation!  As a matter of fact that means I'm DONE with clinicals period!  Woohoo!!!  Friday was my last real clinical in nursing school.  I worked 6 twelve hour shifts in the ER & I can truly say that I would feel 90% comfortable going straight to the ER from nursing school.  Besides the actual trauma codes that come in, I feel like I could easily handle what goes on in that ER straight out of nursing school.  I thought that I would LOVE ER, and I did to an extent, but what I really found out in this clinical was that I just DON'T KNOW.  I don't know exactly what I want to do yet as far as being a nurse, and honestly I just don't think I would really LOVE any nursing job. I know that I want to be a NP & therefore nursing positions to me don't really hold a great appeal. That being said, I don't know yet 100% what dept. I want to to work in, and what I really came to realize is that I don't think I'm going to know until I actually get to do it myself.  I don't think you can get a real representation of how a job really is until you actually do it.  Therefore, I will keep my med/surg job and work there and geri psych until I feel like I am comfortable with these positions and then I will either love it and stay there while I continue my masters or I will move on.  The only thing is I don't think I want to be making a bunch of changes while I'm in the middle of nurse practitioner school.  I'm thinking that it will probably just be easier to stay in one place, even if it becomes mundane.  I don't know how much I would enjoy orienting to new units over & over while I'm trying to concentrate on NP school.  Ok, enough about me, let me tell you a sad story about a nurse in my unit (well sad to me, but not in the way you're probably thinking). 

While I was working with one particular preceptor we got to talking about getting our master's degree.  This nurse said that she wanted to go back and get her PA. I asked her why she would get her PA & not her NP & she said that there were mostly PA's that worked in this ER and she found that they were more respected by the docs than the NP's. She said she felt like when the NP's were in the ER there was a "turf war" going on, whereas when the PA's were there that they "knew their place" and that they just seemed to work better with the docs.

This was sad to me on two levels.  First that a nurse would not want to further her education AS A NURSE.  While I don't want to be a floor nurse, I am PROUD to be a nurse.  I love the profession I've chosen and can't wait to further my education as a NURSE.  I don't EVER want to be a PA or a MD, I want to be what I decided to be 5 years ago, a well educated, highly respected NURSE.  I hate that nurses see being a NP as a negative thing and I made a vow that day to make sure to always show respect for my profession and when I become a NP to make sure to be the best I can be so that I don't give my profession a bad name.  Second, it made me sad for the PA's that she thought that they "knew their place".  PA school is HARD, and I feel that no matter what they are a great addition to any team, and honestly once all this NP stuff dies down I see PA's following suit in wanting independent practice. 

Anyhoo, I made two really great friends on my clinical rotation & I hope that one day I will work with them again, who knows maybe even in that ER.  The director said she hires new grads, but I don't think I'll go that path as a new grad.  I know enough about myself to know that I need what I'm going to get from med/surg.  I need to learn a little more about disease processes & medicines.  And while I KNOW I don't want to be a med/surg nurse for any real length of time, I also didn't feel that total "aha" moment on any of my rotations, so for now to med/surg I go.

Here's a pic of our last day in clinical! I seriously love my nursing buddies!

I'm the 3rd one from the left

Saturday, February 8, 2014

My legs are T-I-R-E-D!!!

Can I just say for a minute how seriously TIRED I am?  And not just my legs but me too.  I thought I was over dramatizing how busy the ER would be, uh no, it was BUSY.  So here's how my 2 days went.

First day I was assigned to a nurse.  I basically followed her around for the majority of the morning & observed, but that quickly got boring.  So then I started asking her if I could do stuff for her & she slowly started letting me try to start her iv's & do blood draws.  That was cool, although let's just say I wasn't very proficient at that.  Well by the afternoon I guess the nurses had gotten used to me being there so they all started asking me if I wanted to come & try to start their iv's, take out their iv's, do their blood draws, etc.  After that it was a lot more fun.  All in all I think I tried starting about 7 iv's that day and guess what?  I FINALLY got one!! My very last patient of the night was an iv start & I GOT IT!! I was really excited.  The hardest part for me wasn't finding the vein or getting blood return, but actually pushing in the catheter.  You'd think that part would be easy, but for some reason it just doesn't come very naturally. 

Then there was yesterday and whew, what a whirlwind!  First of all, the charge nurse decided not to place me with just one nurse but basically just told me to float around & go with the new patients.  So that's what I did. I liked that because almost every new patient needed either an iv or some blood work so I got to do LOTS of iv starts (which I got every one!!) and lots of blood draws.  There was only one person I wasn't able to get an iv on but that's because the nurse was standing over my shoulder & as soon as I didn't get it he just took over.  But that's cool, I know they're busy & in a hurry.  And boy were they busy! At one point in the afternoon though I just started feeling like the glorified tech.  When they got really busy they stopped coming to get me & so I was just kind of walking around looking for people to poke and running stuff to the lab, cleaning rooms, getting blankets.  It was ok but at that point I would have preferred to be with one person b/c then at least I could have gotten to do their stuff instead of getting lost in the shuffle.  But, all in all it has been a great experience so far!  I've gotten to see 2 codes and on the first one I actually got to perform chest compressions, very cool.  As the weeks go by I feel like the nurses will get used to me being there & offer to let me do more things, but so far so good.  I really like the ER, I am really hoping to get to float there at the hospital I work at. 

As for today, I am going to do a whole bunch of NOTHING!  Well, I may do some school work, but other than that a whole lot of nothing!! Unfortunately I do have to work tonight, but it's only for 6 hrs so that's not that bad. 

Anyway, hope everyone else is having a great weekend!! It's snowing here :D

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

To the ER!

Tomorrow is my first clinical in the ER! I am SUPER excited.  I seriously can't wait.  Of course I'm also a little nervous.  I mean what if I get in there & they expect me to know something I don't know?  Or to do something I've never done before?  I mean I guess that's the point of a clinical, but I guess I'm just overly worried about it because it's the ER & in my mind that means that everything is moving in a rapid pace...Of course this is a small town, so maybe I'm overdramatizing what it's going to be like...I guess I'll see tomorrow. 

Our clinicals are on Thursday & Friday, so for the next 3 weeks I'll be in clinical every Thur & Friday, on top of going to class Tue & Wed. & probably working some Saturdays & Sundays...February is about to get serious ya'll!

So tonight I'm going to get my stuff packed, get my lunch together & get to bed early so I can be there bright eyed & bushy tailed at 6:30 tomorrow morning.  Woohoo!!  Wish me luck! Or say a prayer, whatever  your thing is :D

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

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Saturday, February 1, 2014

Guess who's counting down in the double digits!!!

Yes, it's official, I am counting down my final days of school in the DOUBLE DIGITS!!!! Today marks 98 days until graduation!! I am so excited.  When I first started the countdown it was in like the 800's & I thought "Oh what's the point of counting down", but then it got below 365 & I started to get a little excited.  Now it's less than 100 days until I graduate from NURSING SCHOOL!!  I will be the first person in my family to graduate with their bachelor's degree & I am so excited!

So a little about my last semester.  First of all my clinicals.  This semester we have 3 different clinicals.  We have community, psych & capstone.  For psych & community we basically have to get 45 hours each & most of it is on our own.  While it kind of makes me feel like I'm running around like a chicken with it's head cut off, I don't really care because IT'S MY LAST SEMESTER!! I mean seriously they could throw anything at me at this point & I would just be like "Let's do this!!"  I'm just SO ready to be done!

Like every other semester we have a research paper due.  Unlike other semesters this sucker is 15 pages long!! But, I don't stress over that too much because I'm actually a pretty good paper writer I really like my topic.  I chose objectophilia and I'm very excited that my teacher allowed me to use this subject b/c it's really not all that researched.  Funny enough though when I chose the topic I wasn't even thinking about the movie HER, but the fact that it's out now does make this a timely subject I think.  My real inspiration for the topic though was the sometimes disgusting show "My Strange Addicitons".  I mean there is some seriously weird stuff on that show.  So, hopefully I will get a good grade on this paper, and hopefully I can find enough "research" out there. 

This semester I have felt a LOT better about everything than last semester.  I am shooting for straight A's in all of my classes since I seriously need to pull my GPA up.  Now that the end is here I am sort of regretting not trying a little harder to get straight A's in nursing school.  I would have been very proud to graduate with honors.  But, I have 2 kids, a life and now a job and you know, it is what it is.  I am ok with what I've accomplished anyway.

I start my ER clinicals this week and I AM SO EXCITED and of course a little nervous.  I'm always nervous starting in a new department, but the ER especially since things happen so fast there.  I just hope that I can keep up & not panic if there's some sort of emergency, which duh it's the ER I guess there will be at some point right?  I just know I can't wait for that! 

Well, that's it for now.  I'm heading to watch my nephew play some hoops & then back home to nap before working tonight.  Have to make a little money!! 

Hope everyone has a great weekend.