"Listen to the mustn'ts child, listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me....Anything can happen child. Anything can be." Shel Silverstein
"She believed she could, so she did." R.S. Grey

“What if I Fall? Oh, but my darling what if you fly?” Erin Hanson

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Ok so I've calmed down a bit after my blow up in Assessment class on Monday. 

Today I started working on my professional portfolio.  It's due next week.  But it doesn't seem to be very hard & I don't really have too much to put in there anyway, so I'm pretty sure I'll get it done by Friday.  Then I have one more project I have to finish & one more paper to write.  I hate papers and mostly b/c I don't know what APA style is and I haven't bought the book yet (yes I know I'm a dork), so writing them just puts me in a funk.  I mean seriously, what's wrong with good 'ol MLA style!!  And citing, ugh, don't even get me started.  No the reference page, it's the biggest pain in my booty!! 

But all in all I can see the finish line and I THIIIIIIIIIIINK I'm going to make it and boy am I going to CELEBRATE!!!  I think every semester I'm going to have to celebrate just making it through one more semester, lol.  I am praying that next semester isn't this bad, I heard that it wasn't.  Going from 5 to 3 classes SHOULD be a breeze (at least I'm praying that it will be). 

Working on my "professional" portfolio has put me in a good mood.  It's funny b/c when I was buying it this morning at Office Max I thought "I'm going to be a professional".  Not a cashier, not a waitress, not a secretary a "professional".  I never really thought about that aspect of it when I decided to go into nursing, but I have to admit I am loving it.  A professional.  I also like learning about the difference between having a  profession & having a job in my Professionalism class.  Of course I already knew there WAS a difference, I just like learning about it and hearing about it and knowing that one day I will be classified as a "professional".  Too cool.  Ok, how much of a dork am I?  I know, a total one! 

Ok back to working on my portfolio.  I'll try to take a picture of it when I'm done with it so you can see the cheesy picture I chose for the cover page.  Hey, they said to make it reflect your personality & believe me, that's cheesy!! ;)

Monday, March 26, 2012

So discouraged....

So today was my 4th Assessment test and I can't even begin to tell you how discouraged I am. As I have probably said before, I'm not doing so hot in this class and NOT because it is a hard class by any means, but I think it's b/c I'm assuming it's so easy & therefore I'm not giving it the time it deserves when it comes to studying. Today's test was the easiest test we've had in that class, over the easiest material and yet it was the WORST grade I have made in there!!! I was so upset that I left class as soon as the test was over, I couldn't even stay for lecture. I mean I am just so upset about this. I am a straight A student normally & while I can handle a B, I am so upset with my grade in this class. And really I'm not upset b/c I am getting a C as much as I am upset that it is putting me so close to getting kicked out of the program. And yes we are allowed to retake one course, but I don't want to have to do that!!! Ugh, so frustrated and upset...

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Getting off track....

Ok am I the only one who starts getting off track at the end of the semester? I don't remember doing this in my other semesters & maybe I've just gotten sidetracked b/c my children have been out of school for two weeks, but dang if I don't feel like I've been derailed. Last night I had an online test due & also a lab paper & darn it if I didn't forget to turn in my lab!! Now we are only allowed to turn in our labs three times before we fail the class & the first time I knew I was going to turn it in late (that was they day of my paper disaster & I just couldn't face it), but last night I just totally blanked on it & didn't turn it in!!! Of course I left school early the other day & then totally ditched my class on Wednesday, so I think I just got a little off course b/c of all of this. BUT guess what I got on my TERRIBLE paper? An 89!!! Can you believe that?!! She must have been REALLY lenient on that grading scale, but hey, I'll take it. Now as far as the major things are concnerned I only have 2 more papers (one is really small) & a portfolio to turn in & then it's tests & finals only. Only 4 more weeks of actual class & then FINALS!!! So, here are my grades so far. Assessment C (I HATE that I have a C in that class, I'm really hoping to pull that up with these next two tests). Gerontology A, Patho B, Nursing Trends A and Professionalism A. That's pretty good right? Then all I have to do is get 75% on my final assessment & I'll be good to go!! I have to say that although I don't feel much more prepared to be a nurse after this semester I am still loving the direction my life is going.
Hope everyone has had a great week, the weekend is JUST around the corner! :)

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Half way through...

I can hardly believe that I am half way through my first semester of nursing school. I don't think it will be real until this semester is over & I've actually passed everything. It's weird b/c even though I'm doing good, I still worry that I can just screw it all up at any second. Like failure is just a test away. I guess that's just the way it is in nursing school, constant self doubt. But, one thing I feel MUCH better about is the head to toe assessment. I started practicing on Alei (which she loves) and so far we're down to lungs & I can get from head to lungs in 6 minutes. We only have 20-25 minutes to complete the whole thing. I was nervous at first about remembering everything, but I think if I just continue to practice it every night on Al that it will be like 2nd nature when I do it in front of the professors. Another good thing is, my friend that's a semester ahead of me is going to meet w/me & my partner tomorrow & watch us do the assessment & critique us since she's already been through it. I think that will help.
I know some people are really struggling & it will be interesting to see who goes on & who gets "held back". In our program you're allowed to fail ONE class out of the program. If you fail it then you have to retake it, but if you have to retake it then you have to stay with that semester. So like if someone has to retake any of these classes then they'll be in the class of the Fall 2012 semester instead of the Spring 2012 semester, which I think would REALLY suck. (Please God don't let that be me)
Also, I have started looking into some Master's programs in my area. I'm thinking I want to go the DNP route, instead of doing MSN & then DNP. There is a program not far from here, well it's about 4 hours away, where I could go straight from BSN to DNP. It's a 3 yr program in which I'd only have to go to campus 4 times a semester. So, basically I'd work as a nurse while I was getting my DNP. I suppose they've just combined the MSN & the DNP together. The DNP was never my goal, but it seems to be what everyone is talking about so I figured I might as well go ahead & get it. So that means that by the time I'm 45 I could be Dr. Kinney :). Wouldn't that be completely wild!! I mean it's just so wild to think about all of this. Wild & exciting.
Anyhoo, today is my study day so I guess I'd better get to it.
Hope everyone had a great weekend!

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Paper disaster & melt down...

So remember I said I had a paper due. Well let me just tell you what I did with that paper. So, I wrote the paper initially & let it sit until the day it was due. That day I had the paper due & a HUGE assessment due. But, since I had already written the paper, I figured I'd just clean it up, put in my references & turn it in, no biggie. Then I'd have plenty of time to get my lab done & turned in. So I got out of class at 12:00, get something to eat & start the paper at 12:30. So, I basically rewrote the paper & got done with it around 3:30 or so, went to do something to it and DELETED the WHOLE thing!! Now, at this point I know you're saying "Why didn't you save it as you went?" Well, normally I do that, but I wasn't on my computer, I was on the computer at school & I just didn't. So that was THREE hours of work down the drain. Now mind you both the paper AND the lab had to be due by 11:59 that night and I KNEW the lab was going to take at least a couple of hours, and by this time I was SO tired and I just wanted to go home. I live about 45 minutes from campus, I knew my kids were home & I was O-V-E-R it. So what did I do? I took the paper I had originally written, cleaned it up a bit and turned that sucker in within an hour. I was DONE with it. I didn't even have my references right on it but at that point I just didn't care. I turned it in. I'm still waiting to get it back, I'll be lucky to get a C on it. So, needeless to say, tears were shed, phone calls were made and my lab got turned in late, BUT it's all over with now & I've been on Spring Break since then & I haven't done a DARN thing. NOTHING. Of course I need to be studying for my Assessment test, that's basically an A class that I'm making a C in, just b/c I haven't really been putting any focus into it, but I know I need to b/c I don't see myself getting into a FNP and/or DNP programs with a C average. Sooo, probably tomorrow I'm going to go ahead & get back into the books. I do like spring break, but honestly I miss school. I feel MUCH more productive when I'm at school. So, 4 more days of Spring break and then it's back to the grind & then only 7 more weeks of actual school, my finals & this first semester will be in the books. Can you believe it? I can't. This semester has literally FLOWN by. No other semester has gone by so fast for me. I'm so glad that it's going by fast, I'm ready to start making some MONEY!! Anyhoo, I have more interesting stuff to talk about, but I'm tired so I'll try to post more tomorrow.